Do You Enjoy Conflict?

New business leaders often get stuck the day they need a person to change their behavior but fear the confrontation.  This is a real obstacle to growth. 

Let’s start with the elephant in the room.  Growth is always outside your comfort zone.

I am not a psychologist or a therapist but I am very knowledgeable about conflict resolution.  As leader, you will deal with confrontation involving all kinds of topics and issues.  Here are some concepts that may help you: 

>  Confrontation means problem solving, not anger

>  Not everyone has to like you but they do have to respect you

>  Practice with easy topics and people with whom you have mutual trust

>  Address one issue at a time, remain specific, and avoid generalizing

>  Stick to “I” statements such as “I am concerned about …” or “I heard you say …” and the consequential results

>  Only use facts and data and you may find you learn something new

>  Avoid blame and focus on future behavior

>  Practice all of the tools above often as it is like learning to ride a bicycle—you are going to fall down but you need to get back up and ride again

There is nothing wrong with asking for help.  There are many professionals who can guide you through your fears and challenges.  Remember, F.E.A.R. is often False Expectations Appearing Real. 

If you would benefit from fine tuning your conflict resolution skills, I will be glad to help.   

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